THE DEMISE OF THE DOLLAR [anonymous]
The Dollar was in a panic. He had lost a lot of weight and was suffering from teeth rattling chills. He called on its old friends the Yen and the Pound to hop into bed with him to warm him up, but they refused. Then he called his newest buddy, the Euro, who was putting on weight as if he were on steroids.
“Say buddy, how about climbing in bed with me so I can warm up,” pleaded the Dollar.
“Sorry, pal,” said the Euro, “You look like you’ve got some horrible disease and I make it a policy to keep out of sick beds. Why not try a hot water bottle?”
The Dollar concluded it was time to see a physician. The doctor prescribed moderation in his eating and drinking habits, for he was consuming far more than his system could tolerate, Then he handed the patient a prescription for a hefty daily dose of taxes. The Dollar ripped it up.
“Taxes, never! Dieting never!” After all, what was life for if not to be fat and happy and lord it over the rest of the world.
Soon there came a time when he could no longer stand on his own feet and begged his old buddies for help in keeping him up.
But they were afraid that when he fell, they would collapse with him and be crushed for he was much larger than they. The only one who could possibly keep him up was the Euro who would have been happy to give him ice in the winter.
Their universal refusal for help caused him to be placed in a nursing home for failing currencies. Yet even there, he refused to take tax pills and kept consuming more than he could pay for and he became a mere skeleton of his former self. Even his bones lost weight.
Thus ended the career of the almighty Dollar; sickly, confined to bed and powerless. And when he looked around, and saw what the other currencies were doing, he wept over his lost strength. However, he tried to keep his spirits up by finding new meaning to his life as wall paper and being recycled into toilet tissue. It didn’t make him very happy but as some consolation, he still had his memories.